Growing up, I remember a few distinct moments where my parents damaged my trust. Here's one: It was when I was younger and my parents still bathed me. Now, I'd always opt for bubble baths; those darn rainbow spheres always made me giggle. I freaking love bubble baths. If I had my own place, not an apartment of six guys, I'd have one daily. Sorry, roommates HAHA. Why do I love them so? Well, you can destroy kingdoms with a swipe of your arm, create a fully-filled beard in seconds, and you get clean! The tub is your domain. Or is it?
I experienced what no
man child should... The Fall.
After my ritualistic cleansing, my parents would routinely pick me up and place me on the flat portion of my dear tub. Then, they would wrap me in those standard white towels that we can thank Lifetime Fitness for. In that same breath, by some ill-fated chance, my father placed me too close to the rim of the tub. I stepped backwards and slipped on my beloved bubbles that were nestled on the curve.
Friends, I think I have an idea of what Lucifer's fall felt like.
Play this background music as you read. It'll supplement the mood well.
Before my eyes, I witnessed a bright light slowly distancing itself from me. All else ceased to matter. My cherished toys, my crayons, everything. My beloved creator(s) helplessly watched as I fell into an endless, adult-tub-sized ocean. In a painstakingly slow moment, the ceiling light that once blanketed me in its incandescent hug, was eclipsed by soap-filled clouds. Those beautiful, once-joy-giving suds betrayed me. I was in ruin. Then as I continued my descent, I find myself unable to breathe. Water. My screams were replaced with choking and some water filled mixture, composed of dead skin cells and probably a little pee. Hey, I was young. In my abandonment, I heard a voice. "HAYOUNG!" A hand reaching out for me in my depths. T'was a familiar fatherly hand. In fact, it was my dad.
Unlike Satan, I was saved. HAHA
While shedding tears of relief, I asked my parents to never drop me again.
"Okay, we promise."
As they were re-drying me, I fell again. HAHA. Now, can I blame them? Yeah. Should I? No. I got over it and it makes for a great story.
Just took a year to get over. I'm kidding it happened when I was like 4.
Anyways, I'm excited to father a child some day. Sometimes, more so than I want a wife. I joke around when I see children and creepily mutter "I want one..." to my friends. It's too soon for now but, it's on my imaginary bucket list that I'm tirelessly adding to.
3424. Be a father.
3425. Learn how to be funny and become funny.
Currently, I have a dog that gives me a brief glimpse of what fatherhood looks like. Before you deny my existence, I mean like <1%. To you parents, keep on doing you. Actually, I'm not even sure if parents read this blog. Ah well. Herschel isn't the whole deal, but hey, he's my perpetual baby. I love my dog, but I'll love my child infinitely more. On that similar train, hopefully you're riding it, it leads me think about how much more God must love His children. Man, to think the Creator of the universe, loves you and me. He really does.